"Questioning"(Rough draft)

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to die
To no longer be a part of history's present
Have you ever wondered what actually happens to the soul
Does it ascend to a spiritual sanctuary or does it fall into the flames of sin
Or does it rise and fall
Am I the only one that believes that there was a previous life that had my print on it
That I could have been something other than what I am
That I could have been what I hate
Am I crazy for questioning and should I just get back in line
I would love to leave my curiosity on the side of the road
But I don't know where to leave it for it to remain productive
Will my curiosity actually kill me
Or help me to grow and actually know what I'm talking about
I want to uncover the secrets to life
But in order to do that i need to reveal the truth about death
Is it possible for there to be more than one truth
Is it possible for there to be only one truth
It would be so much easier if God would just part the skies to reveal the light
Or if Buddha just shared the rest of what's left after he gets done
I feel like a fool for not toeing the line like I should
The only way for me to learn is through experience
Nothing else works and I'm not willing to try something new
Maybe I'm a fool
Maybe I'm a genius
Whatever I am it doesn't matter
Because I am who I am
And I want answers i need answers
My body may have never died but emotionally i had been dead for months
Until my reawakening
And ever since i want to know everything i can
Even if it is forbidden
I am stilled by my own stubbornness sometimes
I am even floored by my obsession with death
But i feel that within death my ultimate question can be answered
“Why?”