"Safely Tucked In My Nightmare"

I am safely tucked in my nightmare
Waiting for the pain to subside

Like a child I turn a blind eye to reality
In order to protect my innocence

I let my maturity slip into suppression
Along with my happiness

I cripple myself by loving foolishly
Those that mean nothing to me

Oh beautiful heavens in an ugly world
Save me from the mistakes of others

People that care often hurt me the worst
The ones that don't just make me strong

Laughter is a foreigner to my heart
But hope instructs every beat

So complicated that it's simple
The purpose of my existence

But never completely clear
Is God's reasoning behind it all

I am only going no where fast
Cutting myself with broken glass

To see if I feel physically
What other people call pain

But my true pain is not having clarity
For the things that have no meaning at all.