"Lost at Home Within His Holiness"

Has God forsaken my brokenness?
Am I another expendable believer for the cause?
Lost at home within His holiness.
Tainted by his blessing's disappointments.

Life has caused more pain than worth bearing.
But is it worth the struggle to perfect the imperfect?
Will I ever be good enough for my creator to love?
Will I ever be worth the watch of my mother's God?

Confusion is massaged deeply into the roots of thought.
Everyday loneliness becomes more and more aggressive.
Comfort is so distant to memory that I lose myself looking for it.
And yet through it all I don't feel Him

His gospel says “He will never forsake you”,
Yet, I feel so tightly entwined in abandonment.
I expected the phone calls to stop,
I even expected to lose some friends in the process

But I never expected to lose my God.
I never expected to be alone in this unforgiving world.
I lost my mother, I lost my father, I lost my sister,
I lost myself and I lost my sense of Love.

Is it worth believing, if I keep losing?