"I'm Not Dead, Just Hiding"

I'm not dead, just hiding
Avoiding this complex reality
Floating in my own image

Just because my heart is not beating
Doesn't mean that I don't feel the pulse of life
And can't get my blood flowing

There's more to life than being alive
Life is living, even in death
Life is everything in between and around the line

My sin is tattooed on my thoughts
And my blessing is engraved into my lies
And they both contribute to my demise

But now I can finally appreciate
The time that I had
Which continues my journey through realization

"Questioning"(Rough draft)

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to die
To no longer be a part of history's present
Have you ever wondered what actually happens to the soul
Does it ascend to a spiritual sanctuary or does it fall into the flames of sin
Or does it rise and fall
Am I the only one that believes that there was a previous life that had my print on it
That I could have been something other than what I am
That I could have been what I hate
Am I crazy for questioning and should I just get back in line
I would love to leave my curiosity on the side of the road
But I don't know where to leave it for it to remain productive
Will my curiosity actually kill me
Or help me to grow and actually know what I'm talking about
I want to uncover the secrets to life
But in order to do that i need to reveal the truth about death
Is it possible for there to be more than one truth
Is it possible for there to be only one truth
It would be so much easier if God would just part the skies to reveal the light
Or if Buddha just shared the rest of what's left after he gets done
I feel like a fool for not toeing the line like I should
The only way for me to learn is through experience
Nothing else works and I'm not willing to try something new
Maybe I'm a fool
Maybe I'm a genius
Whatever I am it doesn't matter
Because I am who I am
And I want answers i need answers
My body may have never died but emotionally i had been dead for months
Until my reawakening
And ever since i want to know everything i can
Even if it is forbidden
I am stilled by my own stubbornness sometimes
I am even floored by my obsession with death
But i feel that within death my ultimate question can be answered
“Why?”

"Siento"

Siento que me hayas amado
y que hayas confiado en mí
Siento que haber mentido
y haber decir esas palabras
Siento que hayas estado allí
y que te lo haya permitido
Siento todo
Pero todo es poco

"Nosotros"

Dentro de mí
Hay una luz que no puedo apagar
Me dirige hacía ti
Porque te pertenezco

No quiero amarte
Pero no quiero estar muy lejos de ti
Tienes toda mi infatuación
Tienes todo mi amor

Ojalá que este sentido se me vaya
O que yo muera antes de enamorarme de ti
No puedo vivir con tu amor
No puedo vivir en un sueño

Nuestro beso está prohíbido
Nuestro toque es ilegal
Maldigo tus promesas
Escupo en tu corazón

Pero, sin embargo acaricio el tiempo que pasamos juntos
Disfruté de nosotros
Y encendiste el fuego que deseo apagar

"Mi Canción"

Señor ¿puede Vd. oír la canción de mi alma?
Cuenta del pasado y el porvenir
Canta de felicidad y de tristeza
Guarda todos los secretos de mi corazón
Hágame preguntas si quiere
Pero mire en la melodía para las respuestas
La bendición y la tortura son las llaves a la puerta de mi vida
La historia y el resultado contienen las llaves a mi amor
Y hasta el fin yo continuaré intentando vivir por las reglas de mi canción.

"Este Sentido"

Estoy perdido en tus palabras
En la pasión entre nuestros corazones
En el aire alrededor de mis sueños
No puedo escapar este sentido
No puedo escapar mi realidad
Pero eres mi realidad
Eres mi verdad
La única verdad que necesito saber
La única cosa que necesito creer
Cada movimiento
Cada aliento
Me habla y escucho
Pero si me caigo
Yo sé que no me vas a coger

"Untitled"

Everything is coming down on me
Nothing brings satisfaction
Nothing has meaning
Nothing is worth the effort
Is it time to give up?
Or should I just wade the time?

Eternity is staring me in the face
Appealing to the man that can never die
Appealing to the sense of immortal pride
Appealing to the fool without a care
Is it his turn to die?
Or will he last the next round?

I am but I'm only...
And will never end up being...
But answers haven't yet come to me
I'm still left questioning
So I'm through with mourning for what I will never have
And hopefully your departure will remain in my past.

"Forever Open"

When the day converts to midnight,
If pain is left aside,
While Death creeps aboard,
And the Ocean changes tide,
My Heart Will be forever open.

Although I see the good,
As the chains of sin stand tight,
After The crickets leap to join a friend,
And my eyes turn in fright,
Until the Season turns,
My Heart Will be forever open.

"A Nickle And A Dime"

Some people complain because they have more than enough
Some people complain because they want more than enough
They don’t think about the goodness in life
They don’t think about the beauty in life
Tens, hundreds, thousands and more
Nickles, dimes, quarters and more
Children Cry alone on the streets
Children die alone on the streets

Wanting much more than a nickle and dime
Wanting much more than a life of crime
You contradict the past you have lost
You contradict by raising the cost
Tainted, elated, jazzy, unwined
The last of your days reversed and intwined
Meant to be cast down forever all time
A penny, a nickle, a quarter, and dime

Rich is poor
Poor is Rich
Life is Death
Death is life
Same is changed
Changed is same
The one without
Is who you blame
The one with
Is never named
Out of mind
Out of sight
You will be changed
After tonight

"My Public Address"

What am I?
Why do I feel?
Tangled up in my emotions.
Crying for a savior to come.
Watching as my tears fall through the ripples of life,
And set fire to any heart that reaches out to me.

Who are you?
Why are you here?
Leave me alone you wretched being.
Take away your concern and sympathy.
Cast away your love and compassion, for I refuse to accept them,
And refuse to condone their uses.

Yes it is true that I care for you very deeply,
But that means nothing to me.
Love, trust, a sense of humility all have become lost in the shuffle of reality,
My reality which has been so pleasantly defined as nothing.

I am so very sorry to make this address so personal and fitting,
But I think that it is best that you hear this in front of the world
Instead of me telling you in private.
At least this way I don't have to worry about your outburst of emotions.
At least I can lay my head in peace.